What do you do between the time your child rebels and the time he or she comes back to the Lord? In looking at the story of the prodigal son,  we have seen why the son left; and we have seen the father’s loving forgiveness when the son came back. But what do you do during the time of rebellion?

I went to a seminar years ago that dealt with this very issue. I’m sorry I don’t remember who led the seminar but one point stands out.

Truth   +   Space   +    Prayer   +    Unconditional Love  =  A Changed Life!

• Lay the proper foundation of the truth of God’s Word.
• Give them their space . . . let them take flight!
• Continue in warfare praying.
• Show them unconditional love when they return
• This will result in a changed life.

St. Augustine is held in great esteem in Christianity.  But he was not always saintly.  He fell into a rebellious lifestyle and fathered a child out of wedlock.  He was heavy into drinking.  His mother was a virtuous woman by the name of Monica. Sometimes she almost despaired; but she was greatly comforted by a Christian friend who said to her, “A son of so many prayers cannot be lost.” Some time after that he was converted and went on to be one of the founding fathers of the church.

Max Lucado has said, “God has too much invested in a wayward believer to leave them where they are!”

If you have a child who is adrift and wandering from the Lord, meditate and pray the following scriptures . . . there is power in praying the Word .

• 2 Tim. 3:14-15 (NKJV)  
But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
• Proverbs 24:15-16 (NKJV)  Do not lie in wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous;
    Do not plunder his resting place; 
 For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.
• Proverbs 11:21 (NKJV)  Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished;
    But the seed of the righteous will be delivered.
• Proverbs 12:7 (NKJV)  The wicked are overthrown and are no more,
    But the house of the righteous will stand.
• Isaiah 59:21 (NKJV)  “As for Me,” says the Lord, “this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants’ descendants,” says the Lord, “from this time and forevermore.”
• Jeremiah 24:5-7 (NKJV)  “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: ‘Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge those who are carried away captive from Judah, whom I have sent out of this place for their own good, into the land of the Chaldeans. [6] For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them back to this land; I will build them and not pull them down, and I will plant them and not pluck them up. [7] Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.
• Psalm 23:3 (NKJV)   He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
• Ezekiel 11:18-20 (NKJV)  And they will go there, and they will take away all its detestable things and all its abominations from there. [19] Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, [20] that they may walk in My statutes and keep My judgments and do them; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God.
• Jeremiah 31:16-17 (NKJV)  Thus says the Lord:”Refrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord,And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, That your children shall come back to their own border.

Prayer is the mightiest weapon in the universe.  Use it to reclaim your children.

Many homes know the heartache of watching a child make a major mistake.  Dr. Luke wrote in his gospel account:  Luke 15:11-13 (NKJV)   Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.”

This looks at the sons but focuses on the father. The dad does everything right as he responds to his son.  We see a seven-fold response.

1. The dad let him go without rejecting him. He could have easily said, “Ok, take your inheritance but don’t ever come back here.  The dad allowed the son to make decisions that he knew would not be the best for the son…he respected his son enough to let him make his own decisions. Of course, age is a factor . . . you don’t let a 8 year old, or a 16 year old have this total freedom yet.  Real love grants this freedom to a child of age even if you know it is the wrong decision . . . and you don’t reject them.  Sometimes the best lessons learned are those that we learned through a wrong decision.
2. The dad never stopped caring. Luke 15:20b (NKJV)  . . . his father saw him and had compassion. Everyday that the son was gone, the dad would look and watch intently for his son to return.  Why? . . . he loved his son with all his heart!
3. The dad’s love ran deep.  Luke 15:20b-c (NKJV)  . . .  his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. The dad could have been disgusted with the son.  No . . . this dad loved his son no matter what he looked like, smelled like . . . no matter what wrong he had done!
4. The dad’s love was not conditional. Luke 15:20 (NKJV)  And he arose . . . and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.  The dad did not say, “Are you repentant?”  He didn’t ask.  He didn’t wait to see a broken will in the son.  His love for his son was unconditional . . . ”I love you no matter what!”
5. The dad humbled himself in front of all.  Luke 15:20 (NKJV)  …he ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. In that day and age, it was a disgrace for an older man to run in public. He would have to pull up his outer garment and gird it . . . this was undignified.  This dad didn’t care about this. He humbled himself and ran to his son!
6. The dad gave the son undeserved generosity.  Luke 15:22-24 (NKJV)   But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. [23] And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; [24] for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.‘ And they began to be merry. This is nothing more than pure grace!  The tough question is, “discipline or grace?”  In this case, I believe that God had already disciplined the son…now God directs the father to show grace.  For most of us, we probably err on the side of discipline rather than grace.
7. The dad totally accepts the son. Luke 15:21 (NKJV)  And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ The dad does not lay down the new ground rules…that will come later…for now, the dad just needs to accept his son . . . as if the deed had never happened!

This is one of the most wonderful illustrations of responding to a child that goes astray.  The dad knew what complete forgiveness looked like:

• It was immediate.
• It was total.
• It was forgotten.  It was not, “I’ll forgive but I can’t forget!”
• It was costly.  If the son bore the price, it was justice. If the father, bore the price, it was forgiveness.  The dad just simply absorbed the son’s wrongs.
• It was restorative.  The former relationship was re-established.

This is the way my heavenly Father loved and forgave me . . . why should I do anything less?  Do you kknow what prodigal means?  It means ‘excessive or extravagant’.  So you have an excessive and extravagant son being given excessive and extravagant love and forgiveness by the dad!!!

But what do you do between the time of their departure from the teachings of Christ and their return?  This is when the heart aches.  So what do you do?  Tomorrow’s post will address this.

More and more we hear of Christian parents who are having children to stray from the teachings of Christ.  There are a lot of tears and a lot of heartache.  This is not the first time in history nor is it an isolated problem.  Some of God’s greatest servants have had children who rebelled.  Billy and Ruth Graham shed a lot of tears over Franklin (Check out Ruth’s book, Prodigals and Those Who Love Them: Words of Encouragement for Those Who Wait).  W.A. Criswell was heartbroken over his daughter.  Dr. Scarborough, who was one of the main founders of Southwestern Seminary, would walk the campus and weep over his children who had gone astray.  He was heard quoting the Old Testament passage, “Other vineyards have I tended, but my own I have neglected!”

What do you say?  Who do you blame?  What do you do?  God is the perfect parent and we are His children…and we rebel.  So, even perfect parents have problem children. Children have freewill also.  We can stand around and point fingers all day long to cast blame…what good does that do?  What is important now is the steps that are needed to reclaim the children for Christ.

The story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) is a great passage to help us understand what happened and how to respond as a parent.  I believe that the one principle that comes through the loudest is this:  Parents must demonstrate love and forgiveness to their children.

I can remember in the first church that my husband pastored, one of the deacons of the church had a daughter who was very rebellious and was dating a guy of whom the dad did not approve.  The guy and girl were sexually active and she ended up pregnant.  I can remember the night we heard the deacon say in anger to his daughter, “As far as I am concerned, I have no daughter!”  I will never forget the look on the face of the daughter.  A few weeks after this the girl gave birth to a still-born baby. She was devastated and wanted to see her dad…but her father could not be convinced to go to his hurting daughter.

Establish this rule:  Nothing will cause me to ever stop loving my children!

The father of the prodigal son experienced the same thing that we experience when one of our children rebels against the things that they were taught.  The father experienced rejection, humiliation, and guilt. When the son walked in and asked for his inheritance, he was saying, “I value my share of the inheritance more than you…so give it to me now!”  In essence, he was saying, “I wish you were dead so I could get the inheritance now.”  The son rejected the dad, his customs, and his values.

This had to be humiliating. The custom of the day was that your family would buy a plot of ground and keep it in the family for generations…you simply pass it to your children and they in turn pass it to theirs.  This son walked in and said, “I want it now!”  The father gave it to him, and the son then sold it for cash. Oh how humiliating and disappointing that must have been to this dad…especially to see someone move onto the land that had been in the family for years.

The father was stunned by all of this.  The questions began:

• Where did I go wrong?
• What did I do to make him hate me?
• Why doesn’t he want to be with me anymore?

The father’s mind went back and forth through all the mistakes that he has made as a dad.  These were actions or lack of actions or words that he wished he could correct . . . but it was too late. The more he thought about it, the more the guilt piled up.

But with all the rejection and humiliation and guilt, the story of the prodigal son is more about a loving and forgiving dad than anything!

Remember these two principles:

Parents must demonstrate love and forgiveness to their children.

Nothing will ever cause me to stop loving my children!

Next post will look at the father’s response to the son.

I have talked with several hurting parents recently who have watched their children walk away from the Biblical training they were given.  As parents we pray that our children will always walk with Him, however, sometimes they may turn away for a while.  The next few days I will post a series of articles to help hurting parents.

Here are some scriptures I was claiming when we were going through some struggles with one of our children who has since returned to the Lord!!!!!!!

Proverbs 20:7 (NKJV)
The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.

Jeremiah 24:5-7 (NKJV)
“Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: ‘Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge those who are carried away captive from Judah, whom I have sent out of this place for their own good, into the land of the Chaldeans.  For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them back to this land;
I will build them and not pull them down, and I will plant them and not pluck them up.  Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.

Jeremiah 31:16-17 (NKJV)
Thus says the Lord: “Refrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord, And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, That your children shall come back to their own border.

Proverbs 11:21 (NKJV)
Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished; But the seed of the righteous will be delivered.

Proverbs 12:7 (NKJV)
The wicked are overthrown and are no more, But the house of the righteous will stand.

Proverbs 24:15 (NKJV)
Do not lie in wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous; Do not plunder his resting place;

Jeremiah 4:1 (NKJV)
“If you will return, O Israel,” says the Lord, “Return to Me; And if you will put away your abominations out of My sight, Then you shall not be moved.

Isaiah 59:21 (GW)
“This is my promise to them,” says the Lord. “My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I put in your mouth will not leave you. They will be with your children and your grandchildren permanently,” says the Lord.

- – Comforting Words from the Lord!!!! Our children will “come back from the land of the enemy” “to their own borders” with “their whole hearts”!!!

I think we would all agree that there are things going on in our culture today that need changing.  I recently heard it said that if you want to change the world, move to Hollywood.  Well, two of my sons heard the same quote and decided to take it literally.  They are now residing there and hoping to be light in the midst of a wicked and perverse industry. (Philip. 2:15  …so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. Let your lives shine brightly before them.)

Please read this blog post written by our son Jeremiah  http://www.andydarnell.com/?p=2293

If you want to help change the world, but can’t just up and move to Hollywood, consider encouraging other Christians who are willing to go.  When we were there last week, we met several Christians who felt called to the place that many Christians have given up on.  They were struggling to keep their cars running, pay their bills, and just survive as meagerly as possible in order to work in the industry.  Their desire through all of this is to live their lives in such a way that those who have no hope will see and come to know the hope and peace that passes understanding that is only found in Jesus Christ.

If you would like to give to help any of these ‘missionaries’, we have a 501c3 vehicle you can give through.  Just make the checks out to Refocus Ministry and we will send it to the one in greatest need at the time, or we can give you names if you would like to specifically support someone .  You may want to support Tinseltown Ministries which has a powerful weekly Bible study on the Fox backlot for people in the industry.

Refocus Ministry will keep track of your tax deductible gifts and will keep you informed as to how your support is helping to change the world.

Refocus Ministry
2955 Phillips Bend Crossing
Buford, Ga 30519

Susanna Wesley had 15 children and spent an hour a week with each child individually, helping he or she to be totally submitted to God.  When she was asked about her method of preparing her children for spiritual maturity she replied: “No one can, without renouncing the world, in the most literal sense, observe my method; and there are few, if any, that would entirely devote above twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save the souls of their children, which they think may be saved without so much ado; for that was my principal intention, however unskillfully and unsuccessfully managed.”  (Read more about Susanna in the book, Susanna: Mother of the Wesleys)

May you have a fulfilling year training up children!!!!

TheInvisibleWoman

Our son Jon proposed to Mallory tonight!  She is an answer to 25 years of praying.  “We didn’t even know her name, but we were praying for her just the same, that the Lord would write His name upon her heart, because somewhere in the course of this life, our little boy would need a Godly wife.”  We are very thankful for God’s gift of Mallory to Jon and our family.

Please listen to this song.  We first heard it when our boys were very small.  It is a father singing about the little girl that will one day become his little boy’s wife.  Becca and I listened to it together when Josh proposed to her;  Mallory and I just finished listening to it together.

11-somewhere-in-the-world [mp3 download available at Somewhere In The World (LP Version)]

Pray for your children’s future mates.  God is faithful to hear and answer your prayers.  Thank you, Father!!!

I can’t believe our little girl has graduated college.  Where did the last 22 yrs go. For that matter the last 32 years since God first made me a mom.

Deuteronomy 6 says we are to teach our children “at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.”   This indicates that we are to spend much time with our children.  Don’t waste one moment with them  because they don’t stop growing while we are busy doing other things.

I am so thankful for all the tea parties, for bedtime prayers and tucking in, for snuggle times we had, books we read and Bible stories we talked about.

I am thankful for all the tents we made inside with sheets and the huts we built outside, for nerf wars and sock wars.

I am thankful for the picnics and the lazy summer days swinging together as we pretended to take some sunglasses to the sun.

I am thankful for the pretending with dolls and GI Joes, for the hours watching Mister Rogers and eating peanut butter sandwiches.

I am thankful for all the masking tape we put on the floor making Dawsville, and for all the messes with flour, and playing snake pit or avalanche with all the pillows.

I am thankful for the Daws family Christmas traditions, the birthday celebrations, the popcorn and movie nights, the playdough devotions.

I am thankful for the Disney trips, the camping trips, and the walks in the park and in the neighborhood.

I am thankful for fun times with all our varied animals through the years. (frogs, newts, gerbils, iguanas, snakes, fish, bunnies, ferrets, turtles, dogs, and cats)

I am thankful for the hours of homeschooling and even the struggles with math, for the time making costumes for Halloween or Christmas plays or just because we wanted to play civil war or Star Trek in the backyard and really dress the part.

You know, I don’t have a very impressive resume.  I have not spent the last 32 years teaching at a major university, or meeting with heads of state, or making major business deals.  I don’t have awards or degrees on my wall, but I have 32 years of making memories with my children,  and  nothing I could have been doing with the prime of my life could have ever been more important or rewarding than this!!

Thank you, God, for  calling me to the most important and awesome  profession in the world
- being Jenny’s, Jon’s, Jer’s, and Josh’s Mom!

Building Memories
By Sandra D. Romans

So much to do – I have no time
To listen now, I say,
And hurry back to the chores
That always fill my day.

No time to listen? A small voice
Seemed to whisper in my ear…
Soon your little ones will be gone
And you’ll wish to hold them near.

I left my broom – the chores undone
And found them under the apple tree.
I held them close and listened while
They shared their love and we built a memory.

“Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? . . .  We have a few special years with our children, when they’re the ones that want us around. After that you’re going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It’s so fast . . . It’s a few years Peter and it’s over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.”  from Hook

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.