Seven Basic Stages of Life

Hear these stages explained in a sermon by Dr. Billy Daws Fathering and Family

Seven Basic Stages of Life

1.  Foundation Stage  –  (birth through 6)

Focus on Discipline

A. Attentiveness
B. Obedience
C. Contentment
D. Neatness
E. Reverence
F. Forgiveness
G. Gratefulness
H. Faithfulness
I. Truthfulness
J. Security
K. Meekness
L. Cautiousness

Mother primarily works with child during this stage. Father’s responsibility is to keep mother happy.

2.  Training Stage (6-12)

Focus on Information

A. Patience
B. Dependability
C. Determination
D. Punctuality
E. Discernment
F. Loyalty
G. Compassion
H. Alertness
I. Thriftiness
J. Responsibility
K. Virtue
L. Tolerance
M. Fairness
N. Joyfulness

Father has the important role in this stage.  Begin Life Notebook

3.  Skill Stage (12-20)

Focus on Self-Control

A. Wisdom
B. Self-Control
C. Discretion
D. Diligence
E. Endurance
F. Deference
G. Sincerity
H. Generosity
I. Humility
J. Enthusiasm
K. Initiative
L. Love
M. Creativity
N. Decisiveness
O. Sensitivity

4.  Apprenticeship Stage  (age 20-30)

Focus on Serving

A. Thoroughness
B. Responsibility
C. Flexibility
D. Availability
E. Hospitality
F. Gentleness
G. Boldness
H. Persuasiveness

5.  Ministry Stage  (age 30-50)

Focus on Ministry

6.  Counsel Stage (age 50 to End of Life)

Focus on Guidance

7.  Heritage Stage (Left to Others after Death)

Focus on Written and Living Epistles


Don’t Give Up

WD-40 has always been around our house and seems to be as valuable to a man as superglue is to a woman. But what does WD-40 stand for? I just found out from a post at Our Daily Journal that it literally stands for ‘Water Displacement 40th attempt’. “In 1953, chemist Norm Larsen was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion—a task which is accomplished by displacing water. Larsen’s unyielding tenacity and persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.”  I thought that was so awesome to see that the name of the product is a reminder to don’t give up.

I also found out from Our Daily Journal that chutzpah (khoot-spuh) is a Jewish/Hebrew word for headstrong persistence, unyielding tenacity, bold determination, and raw nerve. Right now my husband and I have several things concerning our children that we are imploring the Lord for with intense chutzpah. We will not give up until we see God answer. There are several examples of this in scripture and God was pleased with it.

In Genesis 32:24-29 Jacob wrestled with God and said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!”  And God blessed him!

In Matthew 15:22-28 a woman comes to Jesus concerning her daughter’s possessed condition and she refused to leave Him alone until He healed her daughter.  Jesus commended her faith.

In Luke 11 Jesus was teaching his disciples to pray and told a story about being persistent in asking.

God is pleased when we trust Him so much we come to Him with chutzpah.  Keep petitioning God on behalf of your children!!!

Listen to this song and sing it with your children as you resolve to  Don’t Give Up (Royal Tapestry Records, 1985)


Help for Hurting Parents – 4

What do you do between the time your child rebels and the time he or she comes back to the Lord? In looking at the story of the prodigal son,  we have seen why the son left; and we have seen the father’s loving forgiveness when the son came back. But what do you do during the time of rebellion?

I went to a seminar years ago that dealt with this very issue. I’m sorry I don’t remember who led the seminar but one point stands out.

Truth   +   Space   +    Prayer   +    Unconditional Love  =  A Changed Life!

  • Lay the proper foundation of the truth of God’s Word.
  • Give them their space . . . let them take flight!
  • Continue in warfare praying.
  • Show them unconditional love when they return
  • This will result in a changed life.

St. Augustine is held in great esteem in Christianity.  But he was not always saintly.  He fell into a rebellious lifestyle and fathered a child out of wedlock.  He was heavy into drinking.  His mother was a virtuous woman by the name of Monica. Sometimes she almost despaired; but she was greatly comforted by a Christian friend who said to her, “A son of so many prayers cannot be lost.” Some time after that he was converted and went on to be one of the founding fathers of the church.

Max Lucado has said, “God has too much invested in a wayward believer to leave them where they are!”

If you have a child who is adrift and wandering from the Lord, meditate and pray the following scriptures . . . there is power in praying the Word .

  • 2 Tim. 3:14-15 (NKJV)  
But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
  • Proverbs 24:15-16 (NKJV)  Do not lie in wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous;
    Do not plunder his resting place; 
 For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.
  • Proverbs 11:21 (NKJV)  Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished;
    But the seed of the righteous will be delivered.
  • Proverbs 12:7 (NKJV)  The wicked are overthrown and are no more,
    But the house of the righteous will stand.
  • Isaiah 59:21 (NKJV)  “As for Me,” says the Lord, “this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants’ descendants,” says the Lord, “from this time and forevermore.”
  • Jeremiah 24:5-7 (NKJV)  “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: ‘Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge those who are carried away captive from Judah, whom I have sent out of this place for their own good, into the land of the Chaldeans. [6] For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them back to this land; I will build them and not pull them down, and I will plant them and not pluck them up. [7] Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.
  • Psalm 23:3 (NKJV)   He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
  • Ezekiel 11:18-20 (NKJV)  And they will go there, and they will take away all its detestable things and all its abominations from there. [19] Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, [20] that they may walk in My statutes and keep My judgments and do them; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God.
  • Jeremiah 31:16-17 (NKJV)  Thus says the Lord:”Refrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord,And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, That your children shall come back to their own border.

Prayer is the mightiest weapon in the universe.  Use it to reclaim your children.


Help for Hurting Parents – 3

Many homes know the heartache of watching a child make a major mistake.  Dr. Luke wrote in his gospel account:  Luke 15:11-13 (NKJV)   Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.”

This looks at the sons but focuses on the father. The dad does everything right as he responds to his son.  We see a seven-fold response.

  1. The dad let him go without rejecting him. He could have easily said, “Ok, take your inheritance but don’t ever come back here.  The dad allowed the son to make decisions that he knew would not be the best for the son…he respected his son enough to let him make his own decisions. Of course, age is a factor . . . you don’t let a 8 year old, or a 16 year old have this total freedom yet.  Real love grants this freedom to a child of age even if you know it is the wrong decision . . . and you don’t reject them.  Sometimes the best lessons learned are those that we learned through a wrong decision.
  2. The dad never stopped caring. Luke 15:20b (NKJV)  . . . his father saw him and had compassion. Everyday that the son was gone, the dad would look and watch intently for his son to return.  Why? . . . he loved his son with all his heart!
  3. The dad’s love ran deepLuke 15:20b-c (NKJV)  . . .  his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. The dad could have been disgusted with the son.  No . . . this dad loved his son no matter what he looked like, smelled like . . . no matter what wrong he had done!
  4. The dad’s love was not conditional. Luke 15:20 (NKJV)  And he arose . . . and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.  The dad did not say, “Are you repentant?”  He didn’t ask.  He didn’t wait to see a broken will in the son.  His love for his son was unconditional . . . ”I love you no matter what!”
  5. The dad humbled himself in front of allLuke 15:20 (NKJV)  …he ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. In that day and age, it was a disgrace for an older man to run in public. He would have to pull up his outer garment and gird it . . . this was undignified.  This dad didn’t care about this. He humbled himself and ran to his son!
  6. The dad gave the son undeserved generosityLuke 15:22-24 (NKJV)   But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. [23] And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; [24] for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.And they began to be merry. This is nothing more than pure grace!  The tough question is, “discipline or grace?”  In this case, I believe that God had already disciplined the son…now God directs the father to show grace.  For most of us, we probably err on the side of discipline rather than grace.
  7. The dad totally accepts the son. Luke 15:21 (NKJV)  And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ The dad does not lay down the new ground rules…that will come later…for now, the dad just needs to accept his son . . . as if the deed had never happened!

This is one of the most wonderful illustrations of responding to a child that goes astray.  The dad knew what complete forgiveness looked like:

  • It was immediate.
  • It was total.
  • It was forgotten.  It was not, “I’ll forgive but I can’t forget!”
  • It was costly.  If the son bore the price, it was justice. If the father, bore the price, it was forgiveness.  The dad just simply absorbed the son’s wrongs.
  • It was restorative.  The former relationship was re-established.

This is the way my heavenly Father loved and forgave me . . . why should I do anything less?  Do you kknow what prodigal means?  It means ‘excessive or extravagant’.  So you have an excessive and extravagant son being given excessive and extravagant love and forgiveness by the dad!!!

But what do you do between the time of their departure from the teachings of Christ and their return?  This is when the heart aches.  So what do you do?  Tomorrow’s post will address this.