God likes things organized.  Just read in Exodus 36-40 and see the details He gives for the furnishings in the Tabernacle and the arrangement of the furniture.  As always, He is our example.  If He wants His House organized, our homes should be organized. But I’m aware that with all you have to do, the house sometimes becomes low on your list of priorities. However, getting organized will save time in the long run, and having a clutter-free home will have a calming affect on your children.

Accomplishing this comes very easy for some people, but others find it more difficult.  We can claim some of God’s promises that apply here:
Philip. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
1 Thes. 5:24 He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.
Ask God to help you ‘watch over carefully all that goes on throughout your household ‘(Proverbs 31:27)

Don’t beat yourself up if your gift is not organization -  but don’t be afraid to ask for help from those who do have that gift  -  it’s all part of ‘bearing one another’s burdens’(Galatians 6:2).  Some people really enjoy organizing and would be delighted to help. If that’s not you, you have different gifts that you can share. In fact, some people may tend to be so organized that they will need to learn from you how to sometimes  leave the broom and go build a memory!

Read 1 Corinthians 12 to see how the Body of Christ is to work.

The Christian Stay at Home Moms blog offers a book to help in organizing.

Involving Your Children in the Process

Deuteronomy 6 tells us to teach as we go.  You can make cleaning and organizing a teaching opportunity as you talk about how God was specific about organizing His house and we should do the same.

Give them age-appropriate jobs to do so they can feel a sense of accomplishment:
(Galatians 6:4 Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won’t need to compare himself with someone else.) Lead them to memorize this scripture.

Be like Mary Poppins and ‘find the fun in every job to be done’.  Make a game out of cleaning – for example pretend that a bomb will go off if the job isn’t completed by a certain time;  or pretend that the president or Jesus is coming for a visit.  I like to lead children in a chant of (1 Cor. 3:9) – ‘we work together; we work together’ as we clean up.

Make a game of it:

And please don’t forget to ask for help if needed

How’s your thank you list going?  Regularly writing down what you are thankful for can increase your level of happiness by at least 25%.   I have always believed that an attitude of gratitude is vital to your happiness and your health because of what Scripture indicates. (Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” is just one example.)

However, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier offers scientific evidence of this and that a grateful spirit actually improves your health: “The person who experiences gratitude is able to cope more effectively with everyday stress  . . . recover more quickly from illness, and benefit from greater physical health.”   I haven’t read the book yet, but I am always thrilled when scientists discover the reality of what Scripture has always said.  Read more of the research results here.

I read Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy this year as I was going through a difficult time in my life.   The book was a fresh reminder to concentrate on being thankful, which did tremendously help me cope with my circumstances at the time.   God doesn’t just tell us to do something for no reason.  He has our best interest in mind when He says, “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thes. 5:18

Let’s teach our children early to have an attitude of gratitude, not just so we look good when they utter an unsolicited thank you to the waitress , but so that throughout their lives they will experience all the positive effects of thankfulness that God intends for them.

Use the Bible to make your children aware of people who thanked God.  The first Bible story that comes to mind that has to do with thanks is the story of the Ten Lepers in Luke 17:11-19.  Ten lepers came to Jesus and were healed, but only one came back to say thank you.  At Amazon.com you can buy an Arch book about this entitled He Remembered to Say Thank You.    Our children loved the Arch Books as they tell the Bible stories in rhyme and the pictures are very colorful. There are many Bible stories available in the Arch Series.

The story of Hannah A Mother Who Prayed (also an Arch books) is an example of thankfulness as she earnestly prayed for a child and when God answered her prayer, she gave Him thanks. This story is found in 1 Samuel 1 and 2.

The Psalms are full of David’s thank yous.  And Paul talks often of his thankfulness for various things.

If you don’t have the books, read the stories in the Bible for yourself, and then tell them in your own words with expression.  Be creative and use visuals.  For example for the Ten Lepers you can make 10 paper dolls with dots all over them on one side and then flip them over  to reveal the spots are all gone when you talk about Jesus healing them.  Have all of them leave, and then one of them comes back to thank Jesus.

A wise lady told me once, “Don’t make your children so different from the world that the world doesn’t want what you have.”  I thought that was great advice, so we have always enjoyed the innocent fun at Halloween.  But some things that go on at this time go beyond fun and can cause fear in children.

A friend of mine wrote me this week with a question about how to talk to her grandchildren about the fear they are experiencing after hearing some Halloween ghost stories.  Here’s what I sent her:

You could start by saying that there are bad spirits in the world, but we don’t have to be afraid of them if we believe in Jesus because of 1 John 4:4 “But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won your fight with these false prophets, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.“

Emphasize this is why it is important to stay close to God because He is greater than the bad spirits.  In fact, they are afraid of Him and the Bible says that at the name of Jesus they have to run away (Philip. 2:10 “so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,”) He said we can use His name to tell the bad spirits to go away (Mark 3:15 “and he gave them authority to cast out demons.”) Talk to them about the power of using the name ‘Lord Jesus Christ’

God has given us good spirits called angels to watch over us  (Psalm 91:11-12 “For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone.” All of Psalm 91 is about God’s protection – good psalm to memorize.

I would definitely choose at least one scripture to memorize with them that they can quote when they feel fearful.

Two that I always use with children are:
Joshua 1:9 “I command you—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Psalm 56:3  “What time I am afraid, I will trust in God.”

Tell them about when Jesus used scripture to battle the devil (Luke 4)
There is power in the Word (Isaiah 55:11 “so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.“)

Tell them that God doesn’t want us to be afraid (2 Tim. 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”)

Lead them to talk to God about their fears.

A good book to teach children to use this holiday to celebrate God’s victory over evil spirits is Halloween: Is It for Real? by Harold Myra

Please check out http://www.ministry-to-children.com for great insights and ideas to help use Halloween to emphasize trusting Jesus.

It is important to break his will and not his spirit before he is two.   He is becoming more autonomous, self governing, so whenever it is appropriate, give him choices . . . I think this would keep his spirit from being broken and will help him begin to feel that he has the ability to make wise choices.

I have always liked this quote to remind me that positive reinforcement is important:  “Be hearty in your approbation, and lavish in your praise.” Charles Schwab.   Catch him making the right choice with his behavior and heartily praise him for it.

Here are some words of advice from Susanna Wesley from Susanna, Mother of the Wesleys (Abingdon Classics):

“When turned a year old they were taught to fear the rod and to cry softly, by which means they escaped abundance of correction which they might otherwise had had, and that most odious noise of the crying of children was rarely heard in the house . . .”

“They were so constantly used to eat and drink what was given them that when, any of them was ill there was no difficulty in making them take  the most unpleasant medicine . . .”

“In order to form the minds of children, the first thing to be done is to conquer their will and bring them to an obedient temper.  To inform the understanding is a work of time, and must with children proceed by slow degrees, as they are able to bear it; but the subjecting the will is a thing which must be done at once, and the sooner the better, for by neglecting timely correction they will contract a stubbornness and obstinacy which are hardly ever after conquered, and never without using such severity as would be as painful to me as to the child.  In the esteem of the world they pass for kind and indulgent whom I call cruel parents who permit their children to get habits which they know must be afterwards broken.”

“And when the will of a child is totally subdued, and it is brought to revere and stand in awe of the parents then a great many childish follies and inadvertences may be passed by.  Some should be overlooked and taken no notice of, and others mildly reproved; but no willful transgression ought ever to be forgiven children without chastisement less or more, as the nature and circumstances of the case may require.  I insist on the conquering of the will of children betimes, because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a religious education, without which both precept and example will be ineffectual.  But when this is thoroughly done, then a child is capable of being governed by the reason and piety of its parents, till its own understanding comes to maturity, and the principles of religion have taken root in the mind.”

“I cannot yet dismiss the subject.  As self-will is the root of all sin and misery, so whatever cherished this in children ensures their after wretchedness and irreligion: whatever checks and mortifies it, promotes their future happiness and piety.  This is still more evident if we farther consider that religion is nothing else than doing the will of God and not our own; that the one grand impediment to our temporal and eternal happiness being this self-will, no indulgence of it can be trivial, no denial unprofitable.  Heaven or hell depends on this alone, so that the parent who studies to subdue it in his child works together with God in the renewing and saving a soul.  The parent who indulges it does the Devil’s work; makes religion impracticable , salvation unattainable, and does all that in him lies to damn his child body and soul forever.”

“Our children were taught as soon as they could speak the Lord’s prayer, which they were made to say at rising and bedtime constantly . . . They were soon taught to be still at family prayers, and to ask a blessing immediately after, which they used to do by signs, before they could kneel or speak..

“They were quickly made to understand they might have nothing they cried for and instructed to speak handsomely for what they wanted . . .”

In due season you will reap the rewards of your labor. Galatians 6:9  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Hear these stages explained in a sermon by Dr. Billy Daws Fathering and Family

Seven Basic Stages of Life

1.  Foundation Stage  -  (birth through 6)

Focus on Discipline

A. Attentiveness
B. Obedience
C. Contentment
D. Neatness
E. Reverence
F. Forgiveness
G. Gratefulness
H. Faithfulness
I. Truthfulness
J. Security
K. Meekness
L. Cautiousness

Mother primarily works with child during this stage. Father’s responsibility is to keep mother happy.

2.  Training Stage (6-12)

Focus on Information

A. Patience
B. Dependability
C. Determination
D. Punctuality
E. Discernment
F. Loyalty
G. Compassion
H. Alertness
I. Thriftiness
J. Responsibility
K. Virtue
L. Tolerance
M. Fairness
N. Joyfulness

Father has the important role in this stage.  Begin Life Notebook

3.  Skill Stage (12-20)

Focus on Self-Control

A. Wisdom
B. Self-Control
C. Discretion
D. Diligence
E. Endurance
F. Deference
G. Sincerity
H. Generosity
I. Humility
J. Enthusiasm
K. Initiative
L. Love
M. Creativity
N. Decisiveness
O. Sensitivity

4.  Apprenticeship Stage  (age 20-30)

Focus on Serving

A. Thoroughness
B. Responsibility
C. Flexibility
D. Availability
E. Hospitality
F. Gentleness
G. Boldness
H. Persuasiveness

5.  Ministry Stage  (age 30-50)

Focus on Ministry

6.  Counsel Stage (age 50 to End of Life)

Focus on Guidance

7.  Heritage Stage (Left to Others after Death)

Focus on Written and Living Epistles

One of the best resources for disciplining children is Under Loving Command. It is a short booklet that can be read over and over for instruction, encouragement, and reinforcement.  It can be read on line at  http://www.ntmu.net/lovingcommand.htm or purchased at  Amazon.com by clicking here – Under loving command

This is definitely something you want to nip in the bud!

Here are a few things you might try:

Talk to your child about the fact that God gave us hands to love, help, pray, etc.

Sing “Be Careful What You Do Little Hands.”

Share 2 Timothy 2:24 – “Be gentle to all”.  Make up a song using the verse and naming who or what we should be gentle with:  be gentle to your friends, your pets, your books, etc.

Demonstrate a gentle touch.

Find pictures of children hugging or touching an animal gently.

Pray with your child, asking God to help him be gentle to all.

You might try putting him in his crib to isolate him.  Tell him he can come out when he learns to control his hands and be gentle.

Read Under Loving Command (Children Fun or Frenzie) for some really helpful discipline pointers.

Don’t give up! Be consistent and pray.  You will see the fruit of your labor – the fruit of gentleness which is one of the 9 fruit of the spirit!

What do you do between the time your child rebels and the time he or she comes back to the Lord? In looking at the story of the prodigal son,  we have seen why the son left; and we have seen the father’s loving forgiveness when the son came back. But what do you do during the time of rebellion?

I went to a seminar years ago that dealt with this very issue. I’m sorry I don’t remember who led the seminar but one point stands out.

Truth   +   Space   +    Prayer   +    Unconditional Love  =  A Changed Life!

• Lay the proper foundation of the truth of God’s Word.
• Give them their space . . . let them take flight!
• Continue in warfare praying.
• Show them unconditional love when they return
• This will result in a changed life.

St. Augustine is held in great esteem in Christianity.  But he was not always saintly.  He fell into a rebellious lifestyle and fathered a child out of wedlock.  He was heavy into drinking.  His mother was a virtuous woman by the name of Monica. Sometimes she almost despaired; but she was greatly comforted by a Christian friend who said to her, “A son of so many prayers cannot be lost.” Some time after that he was converted and went on to be one of the founding fathers of the church.

Max Lucado has said, “God has too much invested in a wayward believer to leave them where they are!”

If you have a child who is adrift and wandering from the Lord, meditate and pray the following scriptures . . . there is power in praying the Word .

• 2 Tim. 3:14-15 (NKJV)  
But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
• Proverbs 24:15-16 (NKJV)  Do not lie in wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous;
    Do not plunder his resting place; 
 For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.
• Proverbs 11:21 (NKJV)  Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished;
    But the seed of the righteous will be delivered.
• Proverbs 12:7 (NKJV)  The wicked are overthrown and are no more,
    But the house of the righteous will stand.
• Isaiah 59:21 (NKJV)  “As for Me,” says the Lord, “this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants’ descendants,” says the Lord, “from this time and forevermore.”
• Jeremiah 24:5-7 (NKJV)  “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: ‘Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge those who are carried away captive from Judah, whom I have sent out of this place for their own good, into the land of the Chaldeans. [6] For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them back to this land; I will build them and not pull them down, and I will plant them and not pluck them up. [7] Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.
• Psalm 23:3 (NKJV)   He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
• Ezekiel 11:18-20 (NKJV)  And they will go there, and they will take away all its detestable things and all its abominations from there. [19] Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, [20] that they may walk in My statutes and keep My judgments and do them; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God.
• Jeremiah 31:16-17 (NKJV)  Thus says the Lord:”Refrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord,And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, That your children shall come back to their own border.

Prayer is the mightiest weapon in the universe.  Use it to reclaim your children.