Heart-based parenting

Bring Children to Jesus

From the files of my mentor, Dr. Jo Bevington:

Mark 10:13-16 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”  And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Bring children to Jesus:

  • In prayer on their level
  • in fellowship on their level
  • in worship on their level
  • in instruction on their level
    • Listen to a child
    • Respond to the reaching of a child
    • Love a child just like he is, without a motive to change or instruct; just love like God loves
    • Enter a child’s world and guide the child with Biblical thoughts at teachable moments
    • Observe how a child learns other things naturally; guide him to True Reality naturally

Children have the receptivity to know God.  Mark 10:15 says anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.  What about a little child caused Jesus to use this analogy?

Is it a child’s

  • dependence?
  • sensitivity?
  • uncluttered experience?
  • unbetrayed love?
  • sense of wonder?
  • their attitude that everything is new and beyond understanding so they accept what is just because it’s so?

All of these characteristics of children make it the right time to bring them to Jesus!

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Let It Go and Take Time to Look for God’s Smile

God smiles

I will never forget the night some 35 years ago when I was hurrying through Josh’s bath after a long day.  He was being silly and not co-operating.  As I laid him back in the tub to rinse his hair, he said, “Mom, can’t you see God smiling?”  Wow – I wasn’t expecting that comment,  but his delight in the Lord caused me to slow down, let go of my agenda, and desire to spend more time looking for God’s smile with my son.

The popular and somewhat controversial song, ‘Let It Go’ from the hit movie Frozen reminds me of the phrase that was popular in Christian circles in the 70’s and 80’s – ‘Let go and let God.’ Sometimes we just need to let go of our our plans for the day and let God bless us as we create memories with our children.

Read the Words of Jesus when the children were brought to him:

Mark 10:13-16 (GW) Some people brought little children to Jesus to have him hold them. But the disciples told the people not to do that. When Jesus saw this, he became irritated. He told them, “Don’t stop the children from coming to me. Children like these are part of the kingdom of God.  I can guarantee this truth: Whoever doesn’t receive the kingdom of God as a little child receives it will never enter it.” Jesus put his arms around the children and blessed them by placing his hands on them.

Jesus always had time for the children.  What do we have to do that even comes close to the responsibilities of the Son of God.  What do we have on our minds that could ever be as trying as what Jesus knew He would be facing.  Yet Jesus took the time to love on the children and I think to even play with them.  He even encourages us to be like the children.

We moms need to let things go in order to be in the moment with our children – they don’t stop growing while we are busy doing other things! We need to take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with them, playing, loving, reading, being silly, going for walks, looking at clouds, running through mud puddles, and finding teaching moments in the midst of it all as God smiles down on us.

I am so thankful for the lesson God taught me through Josh that night during bath time. I hate to think of the moments and memories I would have missed  –  I can honestly say I have enjoyed every minute being mom to Josh, Jer, Jon, and Jenny Love for almost 37 years which, by the way, seem to have literally gone by in a blink!

I encourage you to intentionally ‘let go’ of the messy house, the dirty dishes, the unfolded laundry, the phone calls, etc., and go play!! And, as Josh said, look for God’s smile!!!!

Here’s an article, a book, a poem, and a movie quote to inspire you to ‘let it go’:

The Day I stopped saying Hurry Up 

Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters!


Building Memories
By Sandra D. Romans

So much to do – I have no time
To listen now, I say,
And hurry back to the chores
That always fill my day.

 No time to listen? A small voice

Seemed to whisper in my ear…
Soon your little ones will be gone
And you’ll wish to hold them near.

I left my broom – the chores undone
And found them under the apple tree.
I held them close and listened while
They shared their love and we built a memory.


from the movie Hook

“Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? . . .  We have a few special years with our children, when they’re the ones that want us around. After that you’re going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It’s so fast . . . It’s a few years Peter and it’s over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.” 

 

 

 

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What Makes a Happy Mother?

Philip. 2:12-16

  1. Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence,
  2. work out your own salvation with fear and trembling;  for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
  3. Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,  
  4. holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

As I was running recently I was questioning if all the efforts to get up and out early to get a run in was really making a difference.  Then I heard the above scripture as I was listening to Philippians on my iphone.  My thoughts immediately went from physical to spiritual and from efforts for my physical health to my efforts for my children’s spiritual health through the years.

Paul’s source of joy and desire for his beloved Philippians should be every mother’s joy and desire for her children:

  1. That they would obey not only in her presence but much more in her absence
  2. That they would take charge of their own spiritual lives, allowing God to work in them His good pleasure
  3. That they would shine as lights in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation
  4. That they would hold fast the Word of Life until the day of Christ so that she can rejoice that she has not run in vain or labored in vain.

This reminded of the time my sister and I decided to surprise Mom and Dad with new living room furniture as theirs was completely ruined from the pets they so lovingly allowed me to have all through my childhood :-). When Dad sat down on the new furniture he said with tears in his eyes, ‘We must have done something right to have children to treat us so kindly.’  I was thankful that we gave my Dad and Mom cause to feel they had not run or labored in vain.

Now on this Mother’s Day I want to say to my four beloved children, “Thank you for holding forth the Word of Life and giving your Dad and me reason to rejoice that we have not run in vain. We see yall taking charge of your own spiritual lives and shining as lights in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation.  Yall have made me a happy mother!!!!”

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 1:4

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Identify Character Qualities to Address Problems

Guest blog post By Dr. Scott Turansky, co-author with Joanne Miller, RN, BSN of The Christian Parenting Handbook by Thomas Nelson.ChristianParentingHandbook.com<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

Guest blog post By Dr. Scott Turansky, pastor, co founder of National Center for Biblical Parenting, and co-author with Joanne Miller, RN, BSN of The Christian Parenting Handbook by Thomas Nelson. ChristianParentingHandbook.com

 Identify Character Qualities to Address Problems

If you see an ingrained pattern in your children’s behavior, here’s an exercise that will give you some direction. In fact, this activity is good for any parent looking for ways to help children grow, but it’s especially helpful when you’re confused and weighed down by a problem’s complexity or deeply rooted nature.

Take a piece of paper and make a list of your child’s offenses or the problems you’ve seen in the last few days. This isn’t a list to show to your child but is a working list so you can gain some perspective in your discipline. You’re looking for examples of problems that need to be addressed. Look for behaviors, their causes, common arenas where the problem takes place, and others who were typically involved. In this step, you’re simply gathering data and making observations, writing down the facts.

Next, group the problems by character qualities. That is, look for common threads in the offenses that may indicate a bigger heart issue. For example, one mom was discouraged with her son because he continually resisted chores, wasn’t completing his work at school, and gave her a hard time when she asked for help around the house. She saw a common thread: her son didn’t like to work hard and resisted work at every turn. She called it a “work ethic,” but you could easily give it a character quality name, such as working on perseverance or determination.

Grouping offenses around character qualities is freeing for many parents. First, it provides some perspective. Instead of working on fifty different negative behaviors, now you can focus on three or four positive character qualities. Furthermore, once you develop a strategy for character development, you begin to see many of the offenses in your child’s life as opportunities for growth.

This approach also helps parents focus on what their kids need to be doing instead of simply focusing on the wrong behavior. Listen to your words of correction. Are they primarily focused on the problem, or on the solution? One mom caught herself in a trail of statements focused on the problem. “Cut it out.” “Stop being annoying.” “People aren’t going to like you if you keep that up.” Instead, she’d be more effective if she’d say, “Think about being sensitive.” “Remember, stop and think first.” “Look to see how the other person is feeling.” By talking about the positive character quality you’re developing in your child, you can be more positive and hopeful in your approach.

For more ideas about moving from a behavior modification to a heart-based approach to parenting, visit biblicalparenting.info.

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